


Air Chrysalis

by tomcollins



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: 1Q84 References, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Recreational Drug Use, Religion, The Clan AU, all in Au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 05:21:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6891835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomcollins/pseuds/tomcollins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The Night they burned the house of faith was the night that he disappeared. Or really it was the night he physically left- he had been gone for a long time before."</p><p>Based of Monsta X's "All in" music video, and heavily influenced by the book I'm reading at the moment.<br/>Warnings  for drug use, mentions of rape/abuse and implied sorta maybe death</p>
            </blockquote>





	Air Chrysalis

The Night they burned the house of faith was the night that he disappeared. Or really it was the night he physically left- he had been gone for a long time before. Minhyuk had left the petrol bottle in the house but he could still feel it between his fingers. His arms felt heavy as if weighed down. It should have been burned so long ago- before Hyungwon could disappear.

 

Minhyuk always remembered how Hyungwon had been before; he had this smile, this really beautiful smile. Minhyuk had first seen it from his balcony- he watched the boy with dark hair run between houses. He vaulted over a bin and tripped just outside Minhyuk’s place. He didn’t move from the ground after a few seconds, making the other panicked. Without thinking he ran down the stairs and out the door.  When he got out the boy was sitting on the ground looking at the sky.

“Are you ok?” Minhyuk asked.

The other boy looked at his scuffed clothes and thought for a moment. Minhyuk looked at them too; they weren’t regular clothes, they resembled robes. He decided not to question it.

“I’m fine” the boy replied.

“It was a cool jump”

“Yeah but I didn’t land it…” he blushed.

Minhyuk stuck out his hand.

“Lee Minhyuk”

The other boy took it and got off the ground.

“Chae Hyungwon”

Hyungwon looked quite lanky, the robes he wore hung quite awkwardly off his body. It wasn’t the same as Minhyuk’s unfed lankiness; unlike a lot of people Hyungwon seemed quite healthy.

“I should get back…” He began.

Minhyuk didn’t want him to leave, not yet. It was an overwhelming need to keep him there at least for a little bit.

“Do you want an ice-cream? I might have one left…” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Hyungwon bit his lip.

“I’m not allowed to eat things like that…”  
“No one’s going to tell” Minhyuk insisted.

He returned to his house before Hyungwon could protest more and got the last ice-cream from the freezer. Hyungwon sat on the porch and waited.

“Aren’t you going to have one?” He asked when the other returned.

“Nah, it’s for you, it’s the last one left anyway”

Hyungwon had never tasted anything like that ice-cream on the porch. There was something sweet about it. Minhyuk saw him smile and swore that was the moment he fell in love, or at least, if he looked back that would be the moment he’d say he fell in love. With a smiling stranger on his porch, dressed in funny robes.

“Please come running here again” Minhyuk sighed.

 

For the next few months Hyungwon did come running again, almost every day except Sunday. All Minhyuk wanted to do was to sit on his balcony and watch him run through the buildings. He didn’t go down to see him but Hyungwon often looked up at him as he ran by, as if he wanted to make sure Minhyuk was watching. Eventually, they began to go for runs together- doing a circuit through the tight streets of Minhyuks neighbourhood. They would always finish at Minhyuk’s house, sharing an ice-cream on the porch when Minhyuk could afford it. When it began to get colder they started sitting inside, sharing more ice-creams and then later kisses. Minhyuk didn’t expect things to go so smoothly for them; it seemed to happen so naturally without resistance. It made Minhyuk happy.  They had their own little world, an hour each day every day but Sunday.

 

Minhyuk’s friends didn’t know about Hyungwon for a while. It’s not as if Minhyuk didn’t want to tell them, it just didn’t come up. They were all them and Hyungwon was from the outside. They all lived in what could be called the “slums”, where all the houses stuck together, only separated by roads of dirt. None of them were against anything except the soldiers. Jooheon’s house was across the road from Minhyuks, he probably saw Hyungwon coming in and out. That day Jooheon hung out from his balcony.

“Hey Minhyuk” He called across.

“Hmm?”

“Wonho just got some hair bleach come do yours”

“You do it!”

“Nah no way!” Jooheon laughed.

It was almost the time Hyungwon would come for their every-day-but-Sunday run and the thought of missing it made him anxious, but Jooheon kept insisting. Reluctantly he crossed the street to the other’s house. Wonho sat on the floor reading a bottle while Jooheon put on gloves. When Minhyuk entered Jooheon grinned.

“Sit, I’ll put it in for you”

Minhyuk didn’t like the idea of Jooheon putting bleach in his hair but Wonho didn’t protest.

“Where’d you get this” Minhyuk asked as Jooheon put it in.

“Shownu got it” Wonho shrugged.

The bleach stung his head but Minhyuk didn’t complain.  
“How long?” He asked.

Jooheon read the bottle.

“Half an hour”

“Can I sit by the window?”

Jooheon shrugged. After 10 minutes the bleach really burned, he wondered if it was just him but Wonho was making a funny face. Sure enough soon Hyungwon appeared between the buildings, looking up at Minhyuk’s balcony. The sight of him made his heart jump a little but he didn’t want to call out. Jooheon stood behind him.

“Call your friend in”

Minhyuk’s face grew red.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Oh don’t be dumb Hyung, you’re with him all the time!”

Minhyuk watched Hyungwon wait outside his house.

“I’ll go get him” Jooheon left before Minhyuk could stop him.

In a minute he came back, dragging Hyungwon behind him.

“Sorry, this wasn’t planned”

Hyungwon shook his head and sat down.

“Its fine, your friend here got me”

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“What are you wearing?” Wonho asked.

Minhyuk wanted to punch him. Hyungwon blushed.

“It’s just… what I’m supposed to wear”

“weird…” Jooheon mumbled.

His face changed as if he remembered something.

“Oh! Hyung we found some really cool shit out in the waste, Changkyun says it’s wild. You up for it?”

Minhyuk considered.

“When?”

“Tonight, we’ll go to the shed”

Hyungwon frowned.

“What are you talking about?”

Minhyuk bit his lip.

“We sometimes go out and have some fun… try some stuff…”

“Drugs?”

Wonho laughed at Hyungwon’s question, Minhyuk felt really guilty for some reason.

“Yeah, something like that”

Jooheon’s face changed again.

“Yo… um…” he pointed the bleach bottle.

“Hyungwon”

“Yeah, Hyungwon, you should come.”

Minhyuk stood up.

“Jooheon don’t get him into our stuff… it’s not good…”

“I want to come” Hyungwon interrupted.

Jooheon clapped his hands.

“Great! Just not in that, Shownu’ll get you some other clothes”

 

The shed was behind the housing district that they lived in; it was a 20 minute walk from Jooheon’s house. When they arrived Changkyun was already there.

“What do you have?” Wonho asked.

Changkyun held up a bunch of purple flowers. Jooheon laughed.

“Flowers? You’re kidding right”

He shook his head.

“Nah, trust me, you light this up or put it in a drink and it sends you off”

“You’ve already tried it?”

“No, but that one old guy told me it was great”

Minhyuk sat down with Hyungwon in the little circle.

“Where’s Shownu?” He asked.

Changkyun checked his phone.

“Getting Kihyun”

A few minutes later Shownu entered, throwing a pile of clothes straight at Hyungwon.

“Guessing these are for you?” He asked.

Hyungwon nodded and then looked around nervously.

“Oh just get changed, no one cares” Kihyun said, limping in.

“Doing well today?” Minhyuk asked.

“Better than usual” He sighed, falling down next to Changkyun and putting his head on his shoulder.

Hyungwon sighed and got changed, feeling a little uncomfortable. There was one item left after he had put on the new clothes.

“What’s this?” He asked, picking up the white mask.

Shownu shrugged.

“You might need it if you hang out with us”

 

They started playing around with the flowers Changkyun brought, setting a few to a burn with a lighter. Soon the whole shed was filled with a light hazy smoke that made Hyungwon lightheaded. Time felt a bit warped. The one named Jooheon had begun to sing at one point, drawing shapes on people with markers. Perhaps this was it. Maybe this is what they told him to search for, the higher state. He thought he might have found god but then realised that he was just kissing Minhyuk. No one was bothered, he thought he had seen the one named Kihyun doing some things with someone else but he couldn’t be sure. They poured purpled liquid all over the floor and themselves and Hyungwon lost his sense of space. Minhyuk wondered why Hyungwon had his hands in his shirt but he didn’t really mind. They wrapped around his back, searching for something. Minhyuk couldn’t quite tell when he was kissing Hyungwon and when he wasn’t, but it was fine. He didn’t know quite where he was right now but it was somewhere else.

 

They spent the night on that shed floor, at some point they stopped the flowers and even after he came right Hyungwon felt like he was in another place. He curled his head into Minhyuk’s neck. The now blond stared at the ceiling; neither of them spoke or moved. They all left in the morning, before the soldiers could roll out on their makeshift jeeps as they did every morning. Hyungwon tucked a flower and the white mask into the pocket of his new jean, leaving the robes behind. He held Minhyuk’s hand as they walked down the quiet streets. Today was not “every-day-but-Sunday” but Hyungwon had long forgotten. Changkyun and Kihyun left early so the latter didn’t have to walk as far. They others stopped just outside the small shopping district, sitting on boxes. Minhyuk didn’t let go Hyungwon’s hand but he didn’t mind. He smiled at his feet as Minhyuk argued with Shownu. He didn’t see the clergymen until they stopped in front of him. He stood, letting go of Minhyuk’s hand, fear rising inside of him. Shownu also stood in caution. Without anything being said one of the men brought their hand to Hyungwon’s face in a slap. Minhyuk stood but words were stuck in his throat. The men turned to leave. Hyungwon turned to Minhyuk.

“Everything will be ok… I’ll be ok, I’ll be twenty soon and things will be fine”

Minhyuk still didn’t get what was going on, his eyes stared at the red mark forming on Hyungwon’s cheek. He turned to the clergymen who were walking away.

“Father!” He yelled.

Minhyuk watched him run to the men.

 

Things never became fine. Minhyuk didn’t see Hyungwon for a month after that night. He began to think that he wasn’t liked anymore, that Hyungwon didn’t want to be with him. The thought made him depressed. Then, a week after Hyungwon’s 20th birthday, he turned up in a white mask. When Minhyuk ran out to him Hyungwon walked past him into the house. Something wasn’t right. The masked boy slumped against the wall. Minhyuk approached him.

“Hyungwon?” He asked, his voice cracking.

He made his way over and began to pull the mask from the other’s face. Hyungwon resisted for a moment then let it happen. His faced was bruised almost beyond recognition.

“What happened?”

Hyungwon didn’t answer, he looked as though he were about to cry. During the time Minhyuk sat comforting him however, he didn’t even cry a drop. Minhyuk really wanted to kiss him, but it wasn’t the time, someone had done this to Hyungwon.

 

Hyungwon kept coming back to Minhyuk but as time passed his eyes began to seem more distant. He never said a word about what happened to him, and slowly began to not say a thing at all. Minhyuk began to feel as though he shouldn’t touch Hyungwon, as if he were something fragile. The healthiness of his flesh began to seem hollow. Minhyuk grew angry. 

“Hyungwon” He began.

Hyungwon was in his arms like he was often but he didn’t feel there. He didn’t answer.

“Hyungwon what’s been happening to you?”

No answer.

“Is it your father?”

Hyungwon flinched. Minhyuk felt his stomach suddenly twist. He didn’t know why the thought entered his head but it made him want to throw up.

“Did he… did they do _those_ things to you?”

Minhyuk had seen the state of the girls in the area that had been raped by soldiers, they looked empty the way Hyungwon felt. The thought of it made him sick. What made him sicker were the sobs that racked through Hyungwon’s body.

“Hyungwon?”

“They do it to all the girls, it’s part of the faith…”

Minhyuk tried not to vomit.

“You’re not a girl”

Not as though it was any better. Another large sob came from Hyungwon.

“They… they said that if I would love like a girl they would treat me as one too.”

The sickness in Minhyuk’s stomach boiled into anger. He got up from under Hyungwon and began to leave.

“Stay here…”  He said.

 

The Night they burned the house of faith all the men were inside the building. Minhyuk didn’t wear a mask because he wanted them to see his face. After they set it alight they stood down the block, watching it burn. When  Minhyuk got back to his house Hyungwon had disappeared from his place. He knew he couldn’t go far but still his chest pulled. Intuition told him where he had gone. At the end of that row of houses there was a public bathroom, two separated baths for a whole community. He felt the need to scrub himself clean but his gut told him he would find the other there.  He was right. He found Hyungwon submerged in one of the bathtubs, clothes still on his body. Next to the tub was a bunch of purple flowers. Minhyuk stood, frozen in place for what seemed like an eternity. He didn’t know when he took the vial from his pocket but it made the water turn a translucent purple.  

 

As they lay together in the bathtub, Minhyuk could feel his hand being squeezed. Slowly he slipped out of consciousness. In that bathtub neither knew about the chrysalis forming around them, nor did Kihyun from his place on the ground, or Shownu from the hospital or Jooheon from his bed. Translucent purple strands weaving together in the air, like the flowers, taking them all to a better place.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone is wondering, the book is 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami, which is honestly what I thought of when I watched the music video.  
> I didn't even ship ANYONE in Monsta x before the music video, but it was so gay it compelled me to write this. I'm weak.  
> This was just my imagination and interpretation of the MV btw...


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